Diary of a Troubled Seventh Grader
Diary of a Troubled Seventh Grader is the second book in the ''Zachary Brown'' trilogy. It was released on February 10, 2017. Summary Some people simply don't understand Zachary Brown, and he thinks he knows why: they lack the intelligence. His teachers keep throwing him in detention for no reason. His friends laugh at his attempts to do great things. And the girl of his dreams, Summer Petersen, is avoiding him at all costs. Just as he begins to wonder if he really is the only great mind around, forces of evil converge upon Tower Placement School once more. As fate draws ever nearer, he will be forced to work with the residents of his school or be destroyed. Synopsis Opening Zachary Brown is dreaming and having a nightmare when he wakes up to another ordinary morning of his life: breakfast of bumpy raisin oatmeal, his annoying older brother Jon, and school. Believing that there will be a test that day after seeing his friend Reggan Holme studying through his window, Brown becomes afraid of failing for his test and having to attend summer school. His mother Martha arrives and tells Jon he has been given some cookie dough as an anonymous gift, but Jon's suspicious and doesn't want it. Zach asks if he can have it instead, and Martha says no. After she asks the kids about school, Jon chats indistinctly, and Zach tells her nothing had happened, making her suspicious. Zach snatches the cookie dough off the table and flees the house at once, where he considers how to escape the test. He finally decides to forge an excuse note, only to be caught by Holme himself. Brown reluctantly confesses to the forgery, but Holme replies that there was no test scheduled for that day. Consumption of the dough Upon his arrival at Tower Placement School with his other best friend, Ian Freeman, Zachary Brown eats the cookie dough while the announcements turn on. He later took out a list of all of Mrs Clara's nicknames, but Clara noticed it and gave Brown a detention. Brown exited the room after class, along with Holme and Freeman. They were greeted by Steven Thompson and Summer Petersen. In English, Brown decided to write a poem about Summer Petersen as Mrs Garcia went over the types of poems students can write. Brown settled on writing a love poem, but Tyler noticed it and with her tedious tattletale tendencies, loudly told the whole classroom about it. Petersen and Thompson were both repulsed, and everyone stared at Brown. As Garcia tried to calm him down, Brown yelled, "GRACE NEEDS TO KEEP HER MOTHERFUCKER SHUT!". This earned him another detention slip. The display case After English, Brown, Holme, and Freeman headed off, where they saw drawings on a display case. Steven Thompson’s drawing was the most popular, as it had been for two months. They congratulated Thompson, who walked by them and headed to art class. Brown tried to get Keaton, the art teacher, to put his drawing in the display case, but Keaton said he had no time. Brown asked Holme to provide a distraction, and while Holme set off a balloon around the classroom, Brown sneaked out of the room to put his drawing on display. He reached the display case, but when attempting to pry it open, the doorknob broke off. Keaton heard this, ran outside, and gave Brown his third detention. The tomato soup incident Later the three friends went to the cafeteria, only to see Malgus, a bully, at their table. They were afraid at the prospect of asking him to move, so they sat next to Copper, who was reading the book of records. Brown asks him how Debate class is going, and he told him that not only had Grace Tyler presided over it as leader, but she had named them the "Thoughtful Bunnies", infuriating him. He ordered tomato soup for lunch, which they happened to be serving, and he wondered over to spill it on Tyler. Unfortunately, he tripped and the contents of the soup bowl found their way to Summer Petersen (his middle school crush) instead. Petersen became furious and even threatened to kill him, but Thompson was able to calm her down and they decided to go play in the Cave Room. They departed leaving Brown feeling devastated. However, Tyler had deduced that he had been aiming for her and had already left the cafeteria. After Freeman joked that it was still a better love story than Romeo and Juliet, Brown chucked him headfirst into the table, but Principal Zambaux caught him. Brown was taken to the Principal's Office, where Zambaux scolded him, compared him to his older brother Jon, and reminded him that he had a lot of potential. Uninspired by anything Zambaux had said, Brown then received his fourth detention. The trio was late for gym with Coach Shabani, whom Brown disliked. Coach Shabani told Brown to dress for class. He went into the locker room, when he realized there was bean juice all over his mouth. He leaned over the sink counter to wash his face, but water stained his shorts. He was worried everyone would assume he wet his pants, so he began seeking something else to wear. Coach Shabani urged Brown to hurry, causing him to panic. Luckily, Brown found a pair of shorts, although they were far too oversized. He stuffed them with towels in them to make it fit. He exited the locker room, but was confused by the other students laughing, until he realized he was wearing Coach Shabani's shorts. Furious, Coach Shabani forced Brown to run wind sprints. Realizing Coach Shabani assumed he had been making fun of him, Brown passed out, his stomach full of green beans. At the end of class, he was given a detention slip. Fighting Clara After gym, Brown, Holme, and Freeman walked over to math class. When they arrived, Clara gave them a pop quiz. Brown looked at the quiz and found it surprisingly easy. When he finished it, the everyone else was still working, including his enemy Grace Tyler, to his satisfaction. Clara announces the quiz is over and tells everyone to "check your answers front and back". When Brown heard this, he flipped over his test, and saw that there were more questions on the back. As students handed back quizzes, Brown went crazy and randomly answered questions. Ms. Clara came to him and grabbed the quiz, but Brown refused to hand it over. They both tugged on opposite ends of the sheet, pulled it, which tore it in half. The teacher was outraged and gave Brown another detention. Science Zachary Brown walked with Reggan Holme and Ian Freeman to science, the last class of the day. When Brown noticed Fisher, his science teacher, he decided to try and make him laugh, because he had never seen him laugh before. It was very hard to do, but he refused to give up until Fisher threatened him with a week of detention. When he noticed an ink stain on Fisher's shirt, he started laughing. He received yet another detention. The Dark Priest On his way out, Zachary Brown feels the dough in his body ringing and burning his insides, so he nearly collapses. He is stunned to see an ancient being known as the Dark Priest attacking the school, shrinking students with a ray gun. Shocked and horrified, Brown attacks him, but the Dark Priest overpowers him and blames him for eating the dough. A girl named Izzy comes to his rescue and manages to deactivate the tracker planted inside of him, righting the timeline and reversing massive deals of damage to Tower Placement. The Dark Priest is arrested. While he is a hero this day, Brown nevertheless has to report to detention, only for Brian to inform him that he has "surpassed all others" in Tower Placement School in receiving the most detention slips in one day: seven. Upon realizing that the prophecy had "been fulfilled", Brown becomes happy and vain therefore leading to his writing on his desk signs "ZACH BROWN, SCHOOL RECORD HOLDER", disrespecting the "no writing on desks" rule. Development Unlike its predecessor and successor, Diary of a Troubled Seventh Grader is rated PG-13 (parents strongly cautioned) as opposed to the other two being rated PG (parental guidance suggested). The book is rated "for brief strong language". The book has one use of "motherf--ker". The word "hell" is spoken three times and there are some mild insults ("poop brain", "dork", "nerd", and the like). zach Z2